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Category: Understanding of Child Development

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Understanding of Child Development

Will the competition come to me. Don_t train your child to be an exam-taking machine

Written by: Mr. Victor Ching, Registered Psychologist, Child Psychological Development Association

 

I have been working in early childhood education for some time and has observed that many institutions and parents have distorted values, which ultimately harms the next generation. However, I also understand the pressure parents face, possibly due to excessive competition.

 

My educational philosophy is to inspire children’s interest in learning. The child has attended various interest classes and participated in public competitions voluntarily. I never forced learning but instead exposed the child to different things from a “play” perspective to spark interest. Not everything introduced will capture the child’s interest, but that’s okay because there are many fun things in the world!

 

For example, the child once tried playing the piano at a nearby piano store and fell in love with it, insisting on learning. However, I did not immediately enroll the child in lessons but allowed for more exposure to confirm the interest. Even after studying for over a year, the child has not taken any exams because I believe the interest should not be overshadowed by the pressure of exams and does not want the child to lose interest in music.

 

Regarding a Mandarin recitation competition, when the child was in K1, the teacher selected students for the competition, but the child was not chosen. The mother told the child to express the desire to participate directly to the teacher. The same situation occurred in K2, and the family’s response was consistent. By K3, when the teacher was selecting students again, the child raised a hand and loudly stated the ability to speak Mandarin, leading to successful inclusion in the competition. Since then, the child has been eager to participate in competitions, happy with wins but also learning to face failures constructively. I believe that this sense of achievement motivates the next generation to participate and try spontaneously.

 

Taking ping pong as another example, the child wanted to learn after playing with their grandparent during a family church trip at a campsite. Of course, I did not agree immediately but bought a pair of ping pong rackets to play with the child in the park. When it was time to learn seriously, the child was diligent, and after a few months of practice, was able to rally with the coach for nearly two rounds, which is quite an achievement.

 

Learning from interest boosts confidence

 

Wouldn’t it be better if all learning stemmed from interest? This is my philosophy.

 

I understand that kindergartens require interviews, but the “training” methods differ greatly. I also run interview and adaptation classes, and many students have successfully entered prestigious schools (nearly 76% of the interviewed students were admitted to the top 50 kindergartens or key schools/international schools in Hong Kong), but the approach used involves activities and games that not only make the children happy but also boost their confidence.

 

We all love the next generation, but can parents bear to train them into exam-taking machines?

 

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Understanding of Child Development

Is learning and being immersed in art really that important

Written by: Director of Pario Arts, Lee Sou Jing

 

Having worked in education for many years, I have encountered numerous parents who choose “quick-fix,” short-term courses or extracurricular activities for their children, which can be described as somewhat utilitarian. Conversely, they tend to undervalue non-utilitarian courses or activities that pursue aesthetics. Generally, what most attracts parents’ attention are subjects or talent classes where their children can participate in competitions, have certification ratings, or show significant results. 

 

Art Education Has a Long-term Impact on Children

 

I firmly believe that under a utilitarian education system, there will be a profound impact on children’s future attitudes towards life.

 

Art education is unique, beautiful, and full of creativity. Children are not only learning the theory and techniques of art, but the process also stimulates their creativity and imagination. In the long run, art education greatly aids children’s behavior, as well as their learning and thinking.

Experiencing Art in Life

 

We encounter art in our daily lives every day. In life, we can find many beautiful things, such as rich emotions, different tastes, unique feelings, and visual enjoyment. All of these can provide a comfortable state of mind amidst a busy life, allow you to experience the diversity and fun of this world, and discover the preciousness of tranquil beauty.

 

Parents Need to Lead by Example and Value Their Children’s Thoughts

 

In fact, whether it’s intelligence education or art education that emphasizes the cultivation of aesthetics, I believe the most important thing is for parents to provide companionship and support to their children. If you want to cultivate an artistic temperament in your child, you should understand that art education starts with yourself, especially the need to listen, accept, and understand your child’s thoughts, and tolerate the ways they express creativity. Children will easily develop an aesthetic temperament from a young age.

Categories
Understanding of Child Development

Delaying Tactics for Cultivating Children_s Patience

Written by: Pang Chi Wah, Registered Educational Psychologist, New Horizons Development Centre

 

Hong Kong is a society abundant in material wealth, but due to the overabundance of resources, when children have needs in life, parents quickly provide them with ample supply, allowing them continuous satisfaction. However, parents satisfying their children’s needs too quickly can have a negative impact on them, failing to cultivate their ability to endure, and over time, their patience may become limited.

 

Utilizing Emotional Intelligence to Cultivate Children’s Patience

Delaying gratification or the fulfillment of life’s needs is an important part of developing emotional intelligence (EQ). If parents are accustomed to quickly satisfying their children’s needs but then complain about their lack of patience, such criticism is unfair to the children, as their patience has simply not been nurtured.

 

How can one delay the fulfillment of children’s needs? To train children’s emotional intelligence, the secret is “neither using the cane nor the carrot,” meaning that neither corporal punishment nor frequent rewards are necessary. Instead, patience and the ability to wait are cultivated through daily life experiences. Parents can try the following examples:

 

Example 1: When parents and children go to a dim sum restaurant, there is no need to let the children eat whatever they like immediately. Parents can ask the children to wait for 5 minutes after finishing one basket of dim sum before eating a second type; or they can require the children to wait until the parents have eaten a portion before they can eat. In this way, parents and children take turns eating the dim sum.

 

Example 2: When children ask their parents to buy toys, parents do not need to purchase them immediately. They can explain to the child to wait a few hours, days, or a week before buying, asking the children to wait patiently.

 

Example 3: When children return home from the street, do not let them turn on the TV immediately as they please. They must be asked to put away their shoes and socks, drink a glass of water, and sit on the sofa for 3 minutes before they can turn on the TV.

 

Example 4: When children go out with their parents, do not let them rush to press the elevator button immediately. Parents can ask them to wait for the parents to go out together, walk to the elevator together, and then press the button.

 

 

Parents Must Be Consistent and Credible to Train Children’s Intelligence

 

These are just a few examples. Parents must make good use of the “dragging tactic” in life’s details. Using the dragging tactic does not mean denying or refusing the children’s needs, but rather not satisfying them immediately. What parents need to pay attention to is that when using these tactics, they must follow through with what they say. No matter if the children act spoiled, throw a tantrum, cry, or scream, parents must stick to the principle of “dragging”; additionally, parents must also be credible and do what they have promised the children.

 

Furthermore, when children make requests, parents can ask the children to explain their reasons, which not only trains their emotional intelligence (EQ) but also their intelligence (IQ). By putting a little more effort into the details of children’s lives, parents can effectively help train their children’s emotional intelligence. Parents might as well give it a try!

Categories
Understanding of Child Development

No matter how rich, do not spoil the child.

Written by: Johnny Kwan, Curriculum Director of the International Gifted and Talented Development Education Institute

 

The family is the first environment a child comes into contact with after birth and is the earliest influencer of a child’s personality. The personality traits, parenting concepts, and methods of each parent play a decisive role in the healthy growth of their children. How can parents help children understand the relationship between money and their own growth?

 

The West advocates “No matter how rich, do not spoil the child”

 

In this regard, the approach of Western parents is quite worth learning from for Chinese parents. It is fundamentally different from the Chinese parenting philosophy of “No matter how poor, do not deprive the child,” as Westerners advocate “No matter how rich, do not spoil the child.” They have long realized that allowing children to have an innate sense of financial superiority is harmful to their growth and brings no benefits. Even in very wealthy families, parents usually give their children very little pocket money and encourage them to work for their own money. This helps children understand that obtaining money is not easy and that valuable wealth must be accumulated through one’s efforts. This process teaches children something far more valuable than wealth itself. Of course, I am not encouraging children to give up their studies to work, but rather to understand from a young age the basic concept that labor can create wealth.

 

Case Sharing: Son Sells Small Crafts to Help Support the Family

 

Two years ago, I heard a true story from mainland China. Zhi Man’s parents were ordinary workers who, like other parents, hoped their child would succeed, attend university, and thus worked overtime every day. Unexpectedly, when Zhi Man was ten, his father had an industrial accident while working a night shift, resulting in blindness in his left eye and a broken left leg, rendering him unable to work again. Consequently, his mother fell ill. At that time, Zhi Man realized that he was the only one who could fully take on the family’s responsibilities. He resolutely borrowed 50 yuan from a classmate and went to the wholesale market after school to sell small crafts. What was usually taken for granted became incredibly difficult when it was his turn. From having no business on the first day to earning 80 yuan a month later. He spent 35 yuan on a cane for his father and 23 yuan on a book he had longed for, which he couldn’t put down. Seeing this, his father’s lips trembled non-stop, and tears flowed from his eyes. Since then, he has supported himself through his studies, earned respect through his own labor, and made his father proud. Teachers and classmates admired him, and eventually, he became a well-known doctor in the area!

 

Not Relying on Material Wealth, Creating Wealth with One’s Own Hands

 

Most children today are only children and have been spoiled by their parents. For them to grow up healthy, we should cultivate their ability to adapt to various environments and the spirit of hard work from a young age. We should not overly indulge them materially but let them understand that wealth created with their own hands is truly their own!

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